2018 Resolutions

Did you make any?

I always say I’m not going to and then I make intentions.

Ha! Because those are SO different…

In December I started a list on my phone:

  1. Be engaged with people.
  2. See others through a lens of compassion.
  3. Foster more loving relationship with self, for self.
  4. Realize “I don’t know”
  5. And “This is”
  6. Realize self and others do not feed “fixing”
  7. Discipline in self. whatever the fuck that means, ha!
  8. Push past barriers of self-doubt.

I promptly forgot about list number one and started a new one. This one has a more practical slant but then I quickly reverted back to my old ways.

  1. Clean kitchen shelf.
  2. Clean art room
  3. More Farmer’s Markets.
  4. More bike rides
  5. More work outs.
  6. More clothes-I dress like a slob.
  7. Learn one song on the Uke.
  8. Paint over a Paint Night canvass I dislike
  9. More meditation.
  10. More Yoga.
  11. More laughter.
  12. More vegetables.
  13. More water.
  14. More libraries.
  15. More check ins/listening to self.

 

These lists make me laugh, for so many reasons. I need to realize I/others and life don’t  need fixing but then I make not one but TWO lists of things I’d like to fix or change.

Silly,silly Laeli.

At any rate, I’m going to try to follow through with these lists damn it, silly or not. I am curious to see what happens. Curious to see what I achieve, what I fail at it. Curious to see if I can keep up momentum for the whole year. I’m curious but not attached to the outcome because I know myself, haha!

SO!

Lets make a wager. When do you think I’ll lose interest in this? I’m gonna say…April.

Now now, don’t get all concerned. I’m not hating on myself or betting against myself..really. It’s just that in  my 44 years as Lael, I’ve noticed a few things about myself.

I love to make lists. I love all this self-help, self-improvement crap and I either lose interest in things as quickly as the weather changes or forget about things, just as quickly.

And this is all OK! Because I always get something out of it, however small, even if things don’t go as I want or expect. It’s all good! I’m not really tied to an outcome. I’m starting to view life as one big science experiment, anyway. In light of that, I can’t take much too seriously.

So, what have I accomplished thus far?

LOTS of shit!

List # 1:

  1. Be engaged with people.-This one makes me cringe. I suck at this.
  2. See others through a lens of compassion.-So does this one! I still see people the lense of my ego.
  3. Foster more loving relationship with self, for self. Ongoing, always.
  4. Realize “I don’t know” Ongoing, always.
  5. And “This is” Ongoing, always.
  6. Realize self and others do not feed “fixing” Ongoing, always.
  7. Discipline in self. whatever the fuck that means, ha! I think it has something to do with keeping my promises to myself better.
  8. Push past barriers of self-doubt. Being brave enough to take even consider taking a leap out of my career.

List #2.

  1. Clean kitchen shelf. It’s clean for the first time in four years!
  2. Clean art room
  3. More Farmer’s Markets.
  4. More bike rides.-This one can wait til Spring.
  5. More work outs.
  6. More clothes-I dress like a slob.
  7. Learn one song on the Uke.
  8. Paint over picture a Paint Night canvass I dislike
  9. More meditation.
  10. More Yoga.
  11. More laughter. Ongoing.
  12. More vegetables.Ongoing.
  13. More water.Ongoing.
  14. More libraries.
  15. More check ins/listening to self. Ongoing.

Look at me go, hey! How about you? Did you make resolutions or intentions? How are you doing with yours if you’ve got them?

I learned something really interesting this year. You know that whole “It takes 21 days to make something a habit” thing? Yeah? Well that’s not the whole truth of it. It actually takes 21-60 days to make something a habit!

True story! Look it up.

So, if you’re struggling, its ok! Just keep going. Don’t give up yet. You’ve still got time. OH OH OH! And I learned something else: Your effort doesn’t even have to be really consistent. Sure, if you slack off for two weeks you’re going to be that much more behind BUT if you miss a day or two, the outcome isn’t negatively affected that much. How’s that for awesome and encouraging?!

So keep plugging away at whatever you’ve got going on. We’ve got this!

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