As the week ends I find myself wondering about how we think we’re so solid in our selves.
We are who we are! Right?
We are that way-whatever way that is- because its something solid that belongs solely to us. Its something set in stone inside of us. Yet we fail to see how our “self” is so totally dependant on the other people around us. How influenced we are by other humans, good and bad!
For instance, in my marriage I am pretty positive. My husband tends to be more negative. Going by this I`ve always proclaimed myself a positive person! Yet u[on closer investigation things are not as they seem. Out there in the rest of the world I can be pretty negative, same as anybody else. Its only when I think of myself in relation to him and his negativity that I am truly an owner of that trait.
So am I even positive? Can I truly claim that as a trait all my own?
As a stand alone human, am I of a consistent sunny disposition?
I need him and his negativity in order for me to have my positivity. Its dependant on him and his mood.
Ain`t that some shit!
It’s the same at work.
Two months ago, I was cheery and bright and motivated and fiercely supportive of my other co-workers. We were a team working seamlessly together. Cemented there by a common goal; survive the day in an environment of great stress, fight against our common “enemy”, and do our jobs well.
It all came to a head, the situation changed, our common enemy left and suddenly…we are all so different now.
I am not the same bright, cheery, motivated, fiercely supportive person I was before. In fact, I struggle to maintain those qualities all together.
Its so interesting to me how we`re so quick to proclaim ourselves as these definitive beings. This way or that, when really we`re ever changing and definitely not solid.
Entwined and interdependent, with all the other beings. Small parts of a whole, all interacting and reacting to one another.
Gives ones pause for thought.